Ruby gems

Start of my first blog type thingy

Well… Well… Well.. here I am with my first post. I thought writing a blog could be a good way to write about what I’m up to, but everyday activities can be so boring, so instead, I’m going to use it as my therapy.

They say you shouldn’t vent to your friends and burden them with all your problems. But nobody said you couldn’t write about it in an accessible journal that you can dangle in front of them until they are forced to read and to reach out.

So… here I go.

Don’t you love conversations that move you and calm your spirit and the turbulence that you feel inside? Conversation with friends can do that to you: when words and advice speak to you on a deeper level, you start to not only appreciate the newfound knowledge but also see the person as this beautiful soul that, through their unique worldview, can affect you in a way you never thought could be possible. So, I sit here, a little teary-eyed, thinking about what they said and writing… I guess it could be seen as a little selfish, only appreciating people for how they make you feel, but we as humans are inherently selfish and can only see things when they affect our bodies.

Being in touch with my emotions and not being afraid to feel them is challenging. It might not be a unique experience, but being vulnerable and not being in control of how people see me is really scary. But I think letting go of that control could be a good thing for me. Not only to feel freer but also to help me have a deeper connection with the people I love the most.

So, this is going to be a journey of self-discovery, trying to examine each granule of my pomegranate of a mind. And maybe you can come with me… maybe…

I may not be able to articulate how I feel, but I can draw an image of things that are in my head.

Image 1: A red, white polka dot blouse with frills on its shoulders and collar that extends in a V shape to outline the top of the chest for those blessed enough to have them. The blouse is worn by a masculine expressing figure, not really concerned about how it looks and cheerfully continuing to wash the dishes. He’s a friend…

I let people reading to make their own decisions on what this image may mean for me… I’ll give you a min….

But here is my interpretation:

People have a balance of masculine and feminine sides. Each person can have their own interpretation of what range of traits each name holds. However, it is common for femininity to attract masculinity and vice versa. So can we appreciate the feminine sides of people that we are attracted to (speaking as a cis, straight, fem woman). Men are famously shamed for having feminine sides, but don’t we all love femininity in people around us? It is a representation of care, warmth, vulnerability, and so much more. So yes, a man in a red, white polka dot blouse is hot.

I know this has no structure and is confusing, but like I warned before, so is my brain…

Till next time,
M